Day 1: On this day

On this day 30 years ago, March 29th, 1977, at approximately 2am, I was born. My mother had asked God what my name was to be, and only one answer was ever given: David, which means beloved. The name God gave me, through my mother, the name I claim over myself daily, the name I write on countless forms and documents, the name you all know me as, is my constant reminder of God's unending, unyielding, uncompromising, undeserved love for me.

I say I was born on March 29th, 1977, but perhaps a better phrase would be to say I arrived. Many years later, in my twenties, God would show me my real birth. And I would never be quite the same. I recall praying and meditating when I began to sense the power of God's Spirit approaching me. It was very much like being in the ocean when a series of very powerful waves begin rolling in. You can actually feel them coming before they reach you. It was much the same, only these were waves of raw spiritual power so strong they began to take on an actual sound which I cannot possibly describe. It was not a sound like you would hear with your ears, more like a resonance, as if the waves of power passing through me were actually vibrating my entire being. It was as if every molecule in my being were transmitting this sound to my consciousness, and that sound was completely unlike anything I had heard.

I became aware of angels in the room with me. I see angels a lot, although by "see" I do not mean as in a physical sense. We perceive this physical world by our eyes absorbing and interpreting light energy passing through space-time, the first four dimensions (length, width, depth, and time). The spiritual realms are completely outside this space-time of four dimensions so describing what I see in a physical sense is somewhat difficult. These angels were like whorls of energy in constant motion yet confined to a limited "space" such that they seemed to almost have a gravity of their own and light therefore twisted around them in strange ways almost such that they appeared to be columns of pure, radiant light. The physical world around them seemed to distort and bend, not unlike when you press your finger into an LCD screen. I barely had time to take note of these angels, though, when another wave of God's presence reached me and at that point I was fully caught up by him.

My physical surroundings simply seemed to vanish in an instant and I found myself standing naked before the living God. There have never been words invented nor language conceived that could possibly attempt to describe Yahweh, Jehovah, Who Was and Who Is and Who Is To Come. Light and power poured out from His presence in such colors and intensity that I am simply unable to give it words. His light tore through every part of my being with such intensity that I simply understood that I was undone. Not dead or destroyed, more like I never was. Yet simultaneously His power kept me together. And that power, His light, His very presence...there was sound. The light that was passing through me also had audible qualities unlike anything I could have dreamed was even possible. It was then that He reached out and touched my head and spoke. This is how I've chosen to describe His voice. It was as if every single thing in all the creation, every different creature, rock, molecule, everything that ever was and ever will be made every single noise or sound it could possibly ever make..all at once. Everything sounded at once in every possible way, every tone, that thing was capable of creating. Billions upon billions of voices and sounds, each distinct, each making every possible range of sound capable all at once. It was the voice of eternity. The word he spoke to me was completely unutterable for this very reason. But I understood as the force of it passed through me and blasted me into nothing that what he was speaking was my very name. And within his utterance of my name was the entirety of me. He was showing me my own creation as he literally spoke me into existence in eternity. Within that utterance was all of my existence, all I've ever been and ever will be contained in that single breath, that single spoken word that echoed out into eternity.

That spoken word uttered in eternity eventually found its way through creation to Earth, and sometime around what we think of as early summer 1976 that echo of God's very voice in eternity reached its way down into this physical universe on planet Earth somewhere in Oregon and I was conceived. Nine months and some change later, I was born on March 29, 1977. And that utterance continues to move through this space-time we perceive as our physical world until it moves on and I with it.

God has spoken all our names in eternity. His power invested in us, creating us, forming us, calling us. Will we listen? Will we have ears to hear? I am eternally thankful, for I have heard my own name spoken by God and I know who I am.

I am beloved.